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Heat swept

Henry Imler April 29th, 2007

Last year was too good to be true last. The Heat were swept today by the up and coming Bulls. I am now 1 and 1 for my predictions.

List of Heat Retirees:

  • Gary Payton I am faster than him now.
  • Alonzo Mourning Could still pull a ‘tumbo for the next few years, but now that his kidney has a ring - hang it up.
  • Shaquille O’Neal Old Jabbar w/o the hook
  • Antoine Walker I think I can shoot better than
    him, jump higher than him [7 vs 6 inches], and look less like Donatello
    than him. I will accept 1/2 of his yearly salary to take his place -
    its a win-win situation.
  • Eddie Jones Thanks for all the great playoff memories…

Members of the Heat to fake retire:

  • Pat Riley He’ll retire citing health reasons
    until he can build another team around Wade and Haslem… then he’ll
    undercut the current coach and take the glory.


Plan for the Future:
You know what might be best? Trade all of the guys who should retire to
Minnesota for Kevin Garnet. Throw in some old ‘86 Celtic tapes and
McHale might just throw in his next draft picks - the 2034 and 2035
first rounders he has been saving up.

No matter what - I’ll still be rooting for the Heat in the years to come.

3 Responses to “Heat swept”

  1. #     dave [Visitor]on 30 Apr 2007 at 8:41 am

    Go Bulls!!!!

    And I would be surprised if Shaq retires. It is clear that he can still perform at a high level, but for less minutes.

    And Walker, while he sucks, also won’t be retiring.

    The rest of the guys? Yea… they suck.


    But how about the bigger news… Golden State 3, Dallas 1.

    Reply - Quote

  2. #     Dale [Visitor]on 30 Apr 2007 at 9:59 am

    Justice! after being given the championship last year

    Reply - Quote
  3. #     Honzo [Member]on 30 Apr 2007 at 12:19 pm

    Hehe, say it all you want Dale, asterisk or not, they own the 2006 title - I call it a forced collapse.

    Dave - I think Zo can still contribute part time for a NBA team. Now,
    that might just be due to my rabid allegiance to Zo - its why I became
    a Heat fan 12 years ago.

    The Mavs series is crazy. How wierd would it be to have the two finals teams from last year bounced 8-1 from the first round?

    Reply - Quote

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