Henry Imler October 11th, 2007

I
have no sympathy for Bowser at all. Who in their right mind would
choose to fight on a bridge that is held up by an easily removable ax?
Now keep in mind that Bowser (King Koopa’s first name) is chillin’ in
his own castle, a huge fortress equiped with all kinds of defenses.

It is not as though Koopa is on his way to meet a Dr. Wiley for
lunch and Mario catches up with him on a creaky “indiana - Jones - and
- the - temple - of - doom - final - sequence” bridge. No, it is
Koopa’s battle pit, where he challenges his foes in some weird mortal
kombat event. What was he thinking when he approved the blueprints?
“Surely no one would ever think to hit the ax attached the to support
chains. Its just too obvious! I’ll hide my sole weakness in plain
sight!”

If I were Bowser, and assuming that I still wanted the Mortal Kombat
bridge of death thing going on, I would use either my endless supply of
hammers to wedge that ax in there good and tight, or use my amazing
fire breath to weld the whole apparatus together.

I blame Bowser’s stupidity rather than Mario Mario’s¹ pluckyness for his downfall.

^{Footnotes
1) His first name is Mario and he and his brother are known as the
Mario Brothers. So I am guessing his first name is the same as the last}

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