Honzo May 22nd, 2005

Hello my peeps how are you all doing? First off, I must tell you
that I love my wife and that she just made for me the most wonderful
batch of chocolate-peanut-butter-no-bake cookies

I am doing well. I do not have much time to blog, or even post in
the forums. My life is busy right now. I work from 8-5 and have class
7:45-10 each day. However, I am thinking about you all. What do you all
be doing with your time? Do you all use the correct form of be when you
write, type, & speak? I do sometimes, anyway, I am taking to
general courses this session, but I am really soaking them up. It is
psychology and western civ. I have not been very keen on the two
subjects but I have recently decided to add these subjects to my
knowledge base.

Earlier in my life when I was less mature religiously, I considered
History irrelevant. What mattered was that Christ was going to come and
that previous history other than the history of the origins of
Christianity. And when it come to Psychology I took the stated
“Christian” approach… that it had a flawed view of the workings of
the mind and :. Should be regarded as fundamentally flawed and
considered of the backwards pagan worldview. I was a gung-ho Christian,
ready to fight to the death any and every idea that my “Superiors”
talked about. I read all of “their” explanations and did not use any of
my own (my wife just gave me the “Come to bed or I will be sad at you
look).

I was offered a full scholarship to Lindenwood for academics and of
course I went there. I was challenged at Lindenwood on all of my
religious ideas and I fought back with great fervor (I think I did a
good job) However my mind became increasingly closed. With every
challenge, I became more and more defensive. Also at this time, I
experienced several episodes of “religious” idiocy and stubbornness
with the various religious groups on campus. They had no foundation in
the real world, they were all about feelings, “rushes”, and
experiences, and I became alienated on one of the Gung-Ho religious
fronts.

Then I transferred to Central Christian College of the Bible
thinking I would seek ideological refuge and be close to my fiancé’.
However, I was met with a hard-line version of Christianity that
suppressed open thought and cultivated a culture that bred intolerance
to those with even subtle differences in faith… In trying to deal
with that I turned to a church that was opposed to the views that
Central held and was met with the same stubbornness and closed mind
that the fundamentalists at Central had. I felt like all of their
rhetoric was empty echoes of what they had been told. I was met with a
quandary; I felt like I could trust no one when it came to matters of
building a valid worldview. Not conservative Christians, not moderate
Christians, not liberal Christians, not the secular world. Without a
worldview one could trust, how can one function?

Within the last two years, I have really tried to develop my own
worldview using not “religious” authorities, but one based on what I
was able to deduct as facts and apply those facts logically to the
construction of my worldview. There were three main categories…

1. Ideas and concepts that could be explained and fit in with the other Ideas and concepts
2. Ideas and concepts that were clearly (in my understanding) either
   flawed logically and/or did not fit in with the rest of my budding
   worldview.
3. The “To Be Funded Bucket” (Sorry for the obscure banking reference)
   mainly ideas and concepts that kind of fit in, but the jury is still
   out on these things.

In the above endeavor, I really want to develop a wide knowledge
base where I can increase my understanding of the world that we live in
and how it was set up.

I don’t know why I want on the blog-termed “rant” but I feel good to
get it out and it will help you guys know where I am coming from a
little better.

At any rate… PEACE IN!

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